When was the last time you had this nagging feeling inside of ‘there is more to life than this’?
We can have our basic needs covered, and beyond it enjoy relative safety and a comfortable life, yet somehow that doesn’t feel enough.
Because we know deep inside that there is something more important beyond the money and the social status: finding purpose in what we do, and the fulfillment to keep going.
What is the purpose of our lives? Is a legit question that may require some serious inner work to be answered.
But what if one of the short answers was: to be the Real me?
The road to know-thyself requires courage, endurance and commitment. And mostly, the will to create the necessary space in our crazy busy life so we can start walking: here are 3 practical steps that you can implement every day to get you there.
👉Start with bringing more self-awareness into what you do
How to not have a fulfilling life? Live on autopilot. The antidote: introduce the awareness of the ‘what, how and why I do what I do’.
Awareness means making every day count by learning from what is being put in front of you. No need to seek a major event to make transformational changes. What you need is to focus on what matters to you, and set intentions for your actions, thoughts and deeds.
The more intentional you are, the better the choices you make. Not coming from impulse and reactivity but from a place of focus and control, aka knowing how to manage your reactions.
👉Practice the art of self-regulation
Agency, being in control is also called self-regulation.
Self-regulation = emotional maturity.
And emotional maturity is what makes or breaks your reputation and challenges the perception of your potential as a Leader.
Don’t let yourself be overwhelmed by the concept. In itself, it’s quite a simple idea (‘take a breath’, ‘manage your emotions’) and, as is sometimes the case, easier said than done.
My suggestion: make the conscious choice to allow for a brief moment of pause between your initial reflex/reaction and your response to it. Visualize yourself doing it. Fail at it. Understand why you failed and do it again.
By not letting your emotions rule your behavior, you allow the logical, wise, experienced you to be in charge of the next steps; rather than your old reflexes who, at times, did not work that well, am I right?
👉 Walk your talk: be honest with yourself
That, too, is easier said than practiced. We, humans, ruled by our brains, will find all ways to justify our actions, good or not so glorious: it’s called rationalization.
This is how we justify those decisions we make out of a fear of losing something that we [think we] value, and yet that don’t sit quite well in hindsight.
What if you decided that you can be both sovereign and humble?
Own your mistakes.
Commit to yourself to do differently next time. Move on, don’t beat yourself up, and realize that you will have more than a second chance to practice what you preach (and it will feel like the right thing for you).
👉Because ultimately, what really matters is to be your Real self
‘I want to see the Real you’: you’ve heard that before. Go to the interview, and ‘just be yourself’.
If you were to follow this to the letter, you’d realize that it’s not necessarily the best way to show up.
You will need to adapt to the circumstances and to your audience: your relaxed-I-am-on-vacation self may not be what the interviewer is looking for to grow the business and handle crises.
On the other hand, your matter-of-fact persona may feel dry and lacking compassion when asked to make space for someone who is confiding in you.
The reality is that there is more to you than what meets the eyes, including when it is yours. The road to know-thyself can be long and full of good and not-so-good surprises.
But! When you are honest with yourself, know your triggers and how to manage them, you get to be in control of the choices you make: coming from intentionality and purpose, making decisions you can stand behind, and committing to your future, from a place of agency and drive.