Have you ever wondered what makes the Hero goes on their journey?
The reward? the dream mate? the ideal job?
What is really behind their quest, that makes them embark on that voyage over and over again, take on challenges and obstacles, and find the courage to get up and try again?
At first glance, you may say they are your typical adventurer, looking for the thrill of treasure hunting.
Or perhaps, the eternal overachiever, fueling their motivation by taking on more challenges, for the sake of feeling accomplished?
All of those are valid. And we can all find a piece of these energies and intentions in ourselves.
But if we were to dig deeper, what would we find beyond those external signs of success?
Likely something that we are all longing for – the feeling of having the right to be, regardless of any outside judgment, of any identity or status.
Summarized in one sentence: finding their freedom.
Finding our freedom ⇒ becoming more free-spirited ⇒ breaking away from the mental matrix
The mind is where the ‘I don’t feel I can be myself’ resides.
Does it resonate? we can live in free countries, do what we want (within the boundaries of the law and of respecting others), yet somehow we don’t feel free.
Autonomous, independent? sure – but there is something that keeps on playing the same song on and on again: in order to be loved, to be accepted, to feel safe, you need to conform.
This was the price to pay in order to live within the protected borders of societies/ communities for a long time.
Rebel, and you would be ostracised – it wouldn’t bode well for you.
To conform is the essential part of that program that we have been fed from childhood by our educators (and them by theirs and so on) – that we shouldn’t make waves and that we definitely need to be constantly outperforming in order to 1/ survive and 2/ earn the right to exist.
The brainwashing mantras? ‘no pain, no gain’, ‘you are behind your peers, by age this, you should have a title, a family…’. Not only are these not conducive to creativity and expansion, but they can also quickly become our favorite form of ‘suffering’.
Does it need to stay that way? of course not! What if our biggest act of rebellion were taming the overthinker brain of ours and giving ourselves permission to be curious about ourselves and others?
In another word, step 1 to finding our freedom within is to re-write our own personal script.
Finding our freedom ⇒ trusting the wisdom in the free flow ⇒ ceasing the need to control everything
Now that the brain is back to being an ally, the next step is (that’s a real tough one, I concede) … to be less controlling.
We are humans, we feel the need to have control over our environment, our life, others’… This is how we think we keep ourselves safe: when we are in charge.
At what cost?
When we take on responsibilities that 1/ are not ours to take and 2/ are impossible to honor, we create a whole new layer of pressure upon ourselves.
And hello! more cr*p to deal with, the perfect path to mental and physical burnout, and all sorts of self-sabotaging behaviors – i.e. when your body and brain are telling you to ‘please, pretty please, stop this’, and other stalling tactics, from perfectionism to procrastination.
Instead of wanting to control everything and everyone- mission: impossible – we can start by exploring the concept of being in control – of our standards, mindset, behaviors, responses.
Our freedom comes from the choices we make. The freer we feel to create opportunities that excite us, the more choices we will have.
Finding our freedom ⇒ be as free as a bird ⇒ becoming our own cheerleader, coach, supporter, sponsor and benefactor
Not being afraid of being ourselves, is also not confining ourselves into one box – no matter how golden these cages are, they will be tight and you will outgrow them.
‘I am not good enough’, ‘you’re too this’, ‘you’re embarrassing yourself’, ‘who do you think you are?’ – what we tell ourselves so many times a day.
When we become our bully and punisher, we automatically put ourselves in a position of disempowerment. We cannot do anything right, we need self-abuse to get motivated and to get it right.
Not a healthy strategy for the long term. And definitely not a kind one towards ourselves.
Freedom is when we decide to be ok to be ourselves, despite our shortcomings, despite a job we don’t like or a body that is not a supermodel’s.
Time to be our own best friend.
This doesn’t mean giving ourselves free passes when we clearly can do better. But to guide ourselves in a gentle and supportive way – starting by the simplest form of giving love: self-care; and then celebrating our victories, small or big alike.
Finding our freedom ⇒ owning our free will ⇒ writing our own manifesto
The most liberating feeling, ever? When we free ourselves from outside influences; when we are in tune with what really resonates with us.
Staying real here, it’s close to impossible to tune out the outside noise. It’s unrealistic to live in complete isolation. Yet regardless, we can still put boundaries and write our own code of integrity.
Freedom is walking your own talk, with pride and humility.
Write your own manifesto!:
What do you want your life to be? how do you want to be/feel/do?
Freedom is also learning not to delegate our power to those who don’t know any better. It starts with us owning our good, bad and ugly and using every new level of self-awareness to create our own code of being and feeling good about who we are.
Coaching Executives