What are your non-negotiables?

July 17, 2020

What are your non-negotiables?

Let’s start this week with some essentials: do you know your NFWs?

  • What makes your skin crawl?
  • What makes you sick to your stomach?
  • What makes you angry?
  • In what circumstances? What was said or done, or not?

Observe your reaction this week, at home, at work and in-between.  What are the common themes of your NFWs?

 

Your NFWs: Respect

Respect should be at the foundation of any relationship, do you agree?

In which ways do you not feel respected at work or outside?

How do you express your disagreement?

 

Your NFWs: Boundaries

 

Do you have a sense of what your personal space should be?

It can be having time on your own, not being invaded by work at random personal time, not accepting a form of unsolicited feedback…

Boundaries are easily disrespected in the name of results and deadlines.

And when this happens too often, especially when accompanied by a sense of guilt, feeling bad, fear of losing a job or a relationship in case of a ‘no’, there would be resentment, anger and eventually…burnout.

You teach people how to treat you.

And when you decide to change, guess what…

Case study of one of my clients

Client Case Study: a case of misplaced loyalty

Female Senior Lawyer in her mid 40s

  • Partner in a prestigious Law firm
  • Covers for her senior partner when he is on holidays
  • And when she is on holidays
  • Works late and checks out after her junior team to show support

The result:

  • Depleted, demotivated
  • Feels like quitting is the only way to have some personal time

My coaching solutions:

  • Who are you working for, and why?
  • Learning to delegate
  • Learning to manage up

The result:

  • Carved out personal time for date nights with her spouse
  • Is more assertive when it comes to her boundaries

Do you want what she is having?

This is what my new 2-month Reset and Reboost wellness and life coaching program will help you with.

Learn to say ’yes’ and ‘no’ strategically, without sacrificing your productivity or your professional reputation for efficiency.

I am taking applications until July 20th for this one-on-one coaching program.  Contact me here for more information.

 

Your NFWs: Validation

 

Asking for feedback and validation is not ‘being childish’.

Any relationship is a transaction that requires a form of equivalent exchange.

What is the fair value of what you bring to the table at work?

Not only your results, but your soft-skills too?

Are you satisfied with your current compensation and / or job title ?

What else could you ask for?

 

Your NFWs: Values

 

Cringe…

This is what happens when our values and others’ don’t see eye to eye.

Next time there is something not sitting well with you, ask yourself how does the situation conflict with your values.

What can you do about it?

What can you tolerate?

What is your ultimate NFW?